The 20th Century was known as an “Age of Anxiety.” While the 21st Century is known as an “Age of Frustration.” The man has put his foot on Moon, but he has to face anxiety, frustration, etc. constantly on Earth. Today we have forgotten the art of peaceful living. The present age is known as the age of “cutthroat” competition. Everyone is in a rat-race to get ahead. In the race of power and wealth, only some get the garland of victory. The rest of the people get disappointment and frustration. Such disappointed and frustrated people feel a sort of tremendous mental stress and strain. We can only withhold this stress and strain up to a certain extent. Like a camel on which we load more and more weight, a stage will come when it will not even be able to bear the weight of a piece of grass. The camel will fall. Similarly, this happens with us too. We face life’s intolerable anxieties, frustrations, stresses and strains to a certain extent, but if the load of anxieties, frustrations, stresses, and strains exceeds the limit of our tolerance, we become highly stressed out. We may become neurotic. We may also become the patient of Diabetes, Ulcer, Blood Pressure, Heart Disease, Migraine, Sleeplessness, Arthritis, and Depression. We also may undergo a “nervous breakdown.” We may start thinking about suicide. “Life is not worth living, there is no hope in life, and no one will be able to free me from such severe pain of stress, strain, etc.” such feelings may overcome our mental stability.

Nowadays we have become physically healthy. Our life span has also increased, but our mental health has deteriorated. One is like a passenger who has lost the direction of his/her destination. More than 50% of patients visiting doctors have emotional problems rather than physical problems.  They need a professional who can listen and process their thoughts and feelings to assist them with compassion. Along with Allopathy, Homeopathy, Naturopathy and all other ‘Pathies’, they need counseling, psychotherapy, compassion, and mind relaxing techniques like “Anand Meditation” which can be life-enhancing. We really need guidance to lead our life to the path of happiness, peace, sound health, and success. A Licensed Professional Counselor/Life Coach/Certified Yoga Instructor/Certified Stress Management and Medical Meditation Consultant/Certified Anger Resolution Therapist/Hypnotherapist is the right person who can help you in this age of anxiety, frustration, and depression.

I know that there are a lot of things that “I don’t know that I don’t know.” I truly believe that my knowledge is like a kid who is picking up shells from the seashore. Just like that old fable the one about the blind man and the elephant…They were all asked to describe an elephant and each blind man came up with different answers depending on what part of the elephant they touched. The man who touched the legs thought that the elephant was like a tree. The man who touched the elephant’s side believed that it resembled a wall. The man who touched the elephant’s trunk was certain that it was a snake. So they argued and argued…Each person was positive that they were correct, and the truth was that they all were! Similarly, in this age of anxiety, frustration, and stress, different people have different views as to what brings happiness and harmony in their life. These views are based on our different environment, education, and life experiences. For me, I “touched meditation” and found that it could be life-saving and enhancing. I have been teaching meditation sincerely and honestly to others the way I “experienced it.” I teach it in such a way that others can easily and effortlessly meditate. Once one learns meditation from me, they may only need to spend 5 minutes a day to meditate.

There is no religious association, but I teach practical meditation that can be used in day-to-day life by everybody. When you learn meditation from me, you may go into a deeper, relaxing healing state of mind and may experience the power of our brain receptors such as, “Anandamide” which means bliss or delight. Our brain has receptor sites for neuropeptides that mimic marijuana, giving us a natural “high” along with other spiritual, health, and emotional benefits. Just like we have a stress system, we also have a relaxation system.

Experience your “relaxation system” and start experiencing well-being which can be anti-aging, anti-cancer, anti-heart disease, anti-microbial, and anti-neurodegenerative disease.

While the stigma around seeking help for emotional health is diminishing, the fact remains that the majority is still averse to ‘paying someone for hearing you out’ as they call it. As unfortunate as it may sound, the perception of the vast majority is still shackled and driven by the same myths that have been around for eons.

For that very reason, we’re busting some of the most common myths in the world of counseling and psychotherapy in an attempt to explain how misunderstood and advanced the field really is.

1. Therapy is for crazy people

As condescending as this notion and statement is, it has unfortunately shuffled its way into far more conversations than can be deemed acceptable by any standards. The reality, however, is that psychotherapy is essentially just something that helps you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions– and there’s certainly nothing crazy about that. A therapist can equip you with practical and evidence-based coping skills/tools which can help you achieve success, happiness, and peace in life.

2. Therapy is a lifelong process

The idea that signing up for your first counseling or therapy session will leave you in an endless loop of consultations is not only false but also demeaning for everyone involved in the profession. Like other forms of treatment, therapy, too, is a slow and gradual process, but that doesn’t mean that it’s endless. Most of the time therapy is short-term, generally lasting between eight and twenty sessions. Even after achieving your therapeutic goals in therapy. It may be a good idea to see a therapist for maintenance as needed. Just like you see your medical doctor or dentist twice a year, we can do the same when it comes to therapy and life-coaching.

3. Therapy will break your bank

While therapy may be towards the expensive side at times, rest assured that you will only be charged for the services that are being provided to you. Therapy is an investment in improving your quality of life. A therapist can equip you with practical and research-based tools which will be a lifetime investment. If you feel better and if you experience peace, then your ability to face and deal with life’s challenges increases and you may able to manage your thoughts, emotions, stress, school/work and social life better.

4. Therapists will blame you for your problems

The ingrained myth that therapists will blame you for being in the rut that you are is perhaps the most popular reason why people shy away from seeking therapy. Fortunately, however, it’s just that – a myth. Therapists will listen and try to assess your situation with the lens of years of expertise and knowledge in order to strategically develop a treatment plan for you that will actually help. At Feelings Counseling & Coaching Services, PLLC, we use a non-judgemental and caring approach. 

5. “There’s nothing that medication can’t solve!”

While this is a statement that’s making the rounds, it’s unequivocally flawed in everything from the concept to its approach. Not only is treating medications and drugs as elixirs one of the biggest issues with this generation, but the fact that not every type of emotional problem can be solved with medication alone still holds as true as it did centuries ago. However, if it appears that you may benefit from medication, then a therapist can arrange for you to see a local psychiatrist who can evaluate your need for medication.

6. Counselors are just paid friends

Having a heart-to-heart with your best friend may be therapeutic in its own way, but relying solely on your friend to help you cope with emotional problems – that too without any professional knowledge or experience in the field – can be debilitating and dangerous. Counselors are equipped with the right tools to tap straight to the root of the problem without compromising your privacy and confidentiality.

7. Therapists are just passive listeners

Ever watched a movie featuring a therapist passively and inattentively nodding as a patient rambles without end? Fortunately, the reality is more than just a tad bit different. Therapists are, in fact, trained at listening to what you have to say with such immense concentration that they are even able to understand parts of the conversation that you’re not being too vocal about in order to assess your situation. MRI research now indicates that talk therapy actually changes the structure of the brain.

8. Therapy can’t help you move on any quicker

While this statement is partially true, that’s only because helping you move on and disregard the pain of the past isn’t the motive behind therapy. Instead, therapy helps you come to terms with what has happened to you in a healthy manner, ensuring that you don’t continue hurting for the same reason endlessly.

9. Seeking therapy is a sign of weakness

As mentioned in the first point, there’s nothing ‘weak’, ‘crazy’, or ‘incompetent’ about seeking help from a professional for a problem that you’re going through. And if you’re worried that the world will know that you’re seeking therapy and look down on you, that’s not how the world works. Actually, seeking therapy is a sign of courage and wisdom.

10. Therapy will make me feel worse

This statement and its’ not-so-distant cousin “nobody will understand” are just statements that come straight out of your fear and hesitation for seeking therapy – and while there’s nothing wrong with being a little intimidated about opening up to a professional about problems that not even your parents/family members are aware of probably, treating therapy and counseling as something negative is the wrong approach to have. Doing so is essentially just another way of preventing yourself from seeking help – and we take it that that’s not something that appeals to you very much if you’re still reading this. In therapy, sometimes things may feel worse before they get better; however, in the long run, therapy may help you to live a better quality of life.

Convinced that seeking therapy or counseling isn’t quite as bad is it’s made to seem?

At Feelings Counseling & Coaching Services, PLLC, you can benefit from the services of one of the most passionate therapists in Sugar Land, TX with years of experience.

Helping a Family Member Seek Counseling: A Guide

We often recognize signs of distress in our loved ones before they even realize it themselves. Yet, it can be challenging to encourage someone to seek professional help. Understanding how to approach this delicate situation can make all the difference.

1. Open a Dialogue: Starting a conversation can be difficult, but it’s crucial. Express your concerns in a compassionate, non-confrontational manner. Use “I” statements, like “I have noticed…” or “I feel worried when…” to prevent them from becoming defensive.

2. Provide Information: Sometimes, individuals may avoid therapy due to misconceptions or a lack of accurate information about what counseling involves. Offer clear, factual information about the purpose and process of therapy, emphasizing its role in supporting mental well-being and personal development. Clarifying that seeking help is a positive and proactive step may encourage a more open and accepting perspective towards counseling.

3. Offer Support: Emphasize that you are there for them, whether it’s accompanying them to their first session or just lending a listening ear. Your support can help reduce their anxiety.

4. Explore Telehealth Therapy Options: If traditional face-to-face therapy does not appeal to your loved ones, suggesting telehealth therapy as an alternative can be helpful. Telehealth allows individuals to access counseling and support from the comfort of their own homes, which might be a more comfortable and convenient option for them.

5. Avoid Ultimatums: Threatening or forcing someone can backfire. It’s essential to understand that everyone is on their journey and must seek help in their own time.

6. Educate Yourself: The more you understand about mental health and therapy, the better you can help your loved one. Research conditions you believe they might be struggling with, or therapy processes to have informed discussions.

7. Encourage Self-help Techniques: While waiting for professional help, introduce them to relaxation techniques, mindfulness, or books that might help.

FAQs:

Q: What if my loved one denies needing help?

A: Be patient and provide them with information when they are receptive. It’s essential to let them realize their need at their own pace.

Q: What if my family member refuses to acknowledge their issues?

A: Remain supportive and understanding. Continually forcing the topic may increase their resistance. It’s important to give them space and time, and be there when they’re ready to talk about it.

Q: How do I approach the subject without making them feel attacked?

A: Approach the topic when both of you are calm. Be compassionate, listen actively, and ensure they understand you are coming from a place of concern and love.

Q: What if they are afraid of the stigma surrounding mental health counseling?

A: Educate them about the common misconceptions and stigmas around mental health and reinforce the importance and normalcy of seeking help. Share examples of successful individuals who have benefited from therapy.

Q: What if I fear they might harm themselves?

A: If there’s an immediate threat, call emergency services or a crisis hotline. Your loved one’s safety is paramount.

Q: How do I deal with the frustration of my loved one not seeking help?

A: It’s important to manage your own stress and emotions. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide you with the necessary tools and perspective to cope with the situation effectively.

Q: How can I help my loved one if I’m struggling with my own mental health?

A: Prioritize your wellbeing, seek support for your mental health needs, and employ self-care strategies. Maintaining your mental health allows you to effectively support your loved one.

Helping someone realize they might benefit from therapy is a delicate process. With patience, information, and understanding, you can be a significant pillar of support for your loved one during a challenging period. Remember, it’s always okay to seek guidance for yourself to navigate this process more effectively.

TIPS FOR ENJOYING YOUR THANKSGIVING MINDFULLY

1.  Avoid Conflicts:Thanksgiving can be a stressful time as you may have views that differ from your family. Avoid topics that may cause conflict in opinions and views. Do not take things personally and “let it go.”

   2. Be generous (in your actions and thoughts):

   Lend a helping hand when you can. Love and accept your family–imperfections and all. Celebrate your differences. When you are communicating with someone, do not interrupt that person and let him/her finish what he/she wants to say. If you are listening, just listen without thinking this is wrong or I’m gonna say “XYZ” when he/she finishes.

   3. Cook and clean mindfully:

   You can cook mindfully. If you are cutting something in the kitchen, just say “I’m cutting…I’m cutting…I’m cutting” and just cut. If you are frying something, then you can say to yourself “I’m frying…I’m frying…I’m frying” and just fry. Do not try to do multiple things at once which can be dangerous. You can clean your home mindfully as well. If you are vacuuming your house, then just vacuum. If you are washing a few dishes, then feel the warm or cold water on your skin and enjoy the aroma of the soap.

   4. Eat small portions:

   Do not feel obligated to eat large portions of food to please your host. Take small portions, say thanks and carry-on. Eat mindfully and pay full attention to the first three bites that you eat. Involve your senses. Enjoy the aroma, taste, texture, and the color of the food. Eat and savor one bite at a time.

   5. Don’t feed your emotions:

   Avoid eating out of boredom or to mask uncomfortable feelings. Do not distract yourself by eating junk or try to numb yourself by drinking alcohol excessively. Remember, alcohol is a depressant. It can make you more depressed.

    6. Take time for yourself:

    Remember to put an oxygen mask on yourself first. While you may be busy preparing for your guests, preparing to travel or busy mingling with family and friends, don’t forget to take a few minutes for yourself to breathe, meditate and practice mindfulness.  

Dr. V.’S 4 MINDFULNESS TIPS AS YOU CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS AND RING IN THE NEW YEAR:

1. DON’T FEED YOUR OVERWHELMING THOUGHTS & EMOTIONS:

For many, the holidays can bring memories of some past traumatic life experience, grief or loss. It may be hard if your loved ones are not there with you. Put yourself in someone else’s shoe and have some compassion for them. Recognize whatever emotions come up rather than running away from them or wrestling with them. Accept them and just be aware of your breath. Also, avoid eating out of emotional pain or to mask uncomfortable feelings. Do not distract yourself by binging on unhealthy foods or try to numb yourself by drinking alcohol excessively.

2. PUT AN OXYGEN MASK ON YOURSELF FIRST:

If you don’t think about yourself this holiday season and if you try to please others by ignoring yourself and if you have a hard time saying “No,” then that may lead to resentment and burnout. You may be busy preparing for your guests, preparing to travel or busy mingling with family and friends. Don’t forget to take a few minutes for yourself to breathe, meditate and practice mindfulness. Try and shift your attention from overthinking to your present physical sensations and experiences— the coming and going of your breath, the weight of your feet against the floor, your back against the chair and your clothes against your skin. Try to bring yourself back in the “now.” Also, don’t compromise your sleep, appetite, and exercise. Do something that makes you happy! 🙂

3. AVOID CONFLICTS & BE GENEROUS IN YOUR ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS:

Family get-togethers can be a stressful time as you may have views that differ from your family. You cannot change the way your family and friends think as change comes from inside out, not outside in. Avoid topics that may cause conflict in opinions and views. Do not take things personally and “let it go.” Love and accept your family the way they are. Celebrate your differences. If your family members can’t make it to your gathering or they change their plans at the last minute, and you have everything planned your way, then roll with the changes, accept it and let go of your expectations to do things your way.

4. BE GRATEFUL:

Spend some time each night during the holiday season reflecting on the good things that happened to you throughout this year. Before you fall asleep, ask yourself: What moved me today? What surprised me today? And I’m grateful for_______. (Fill out the blank). Try to practice random and non-random acts of kindness. Be grateful for your blessings and pay attention to the joy that is around you which is the spirit of the holiday season. Also, try and come up with some helpful intentions for yourself, your family, your nation and the world for the new year!